More than anything, Fantasy Suites are when it becomes most abundantly clear that everyone has started throwing around the concept of getting engaged and making little sketches on napkins for Neil Lane even though they’ve technically never been in a room alone together.īecause in the end, the importance of Fantasy Suites rests upon the predication that all of the nights that have come before it have purposefully prevented these relationships from becoming more intimate. They could be secret monsters they could write dog food jingles.
![boom boom boom outhere brothers boom boom boom outhere brothers](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/WqHQ_wWbG9Y/hqdefault.jpg)
For all Michelle knows, these could be the kind of guys who are out here arguing in Kevin Hart’s Instagram comments, or handing out unsolicited endorsements to former high school classmates on LinkedIn. And watching Brandon mentally arrange Michelle’s bridal bouquet while Michelle lies in bed telling Nayte she’s in love with him may as well be Samara emerging from a well.įantasy Suites are typically when the lead realizes that it’s possible to fall in love with more than one person at once, even without knowing any of their middle names, voting history, or stance on reheating leftover pizza in the oven or microwave. Listening to Michelle coax Nayte into admitting that he has feelings that could maybe amount to an eventual proposal, and then celebrating that as a total victory, feels like watching a bony hand slowly creep out from under a bed. But, in reality, Fantasy Suites are when this whole enterprise begins to unfold like a horror movie, cracking under the pressure of its own conceit. No, that part should mean that this episode kicks off the romantic climax (pun always very much intended) this entire franchise is predicated on. And it’s not because the contestants are permitted by Kaitlyn and Tayshia to finally have sex if they want to. Indeed, there is no pit stop on the Bachelorette journey quite so un- nat-ur-al as the contractually obligated Fantasy Suite dates. And if you’re not sure which road we’re reaching the end of, you can just squint out at that blur in the distance and find Michelle in a glittering gown, squatted down in Roy sibling position, weeping because she just broke up with a man who she straight-up told she’s still kinda in love with moments before he got into an SUV with “Mexico to Minneapolis” already plugged into the GPS. Because, with only three men, two episodes, and a seemingly infinite number of love declarations to go, we are officially approaching the end of the road in Michelle’s journey to find a soul mate. Throughout this entire Fantasy Suite episode of The Bachelorette, I could not stop humming the Boyz II Men classic “End of the Road” (nor pausing to watch its perfect music video, which, not for nothing, invented the shacket).